Biology Sucks

Although I realize it is necessary for reproduction and that whole "female hormones" business, I'm really starting to hate this thing:

And why are you asking me?!

I got an email in my spam mailbox the other day that has this as the title:

"I just started having sex, and my boyfriend keeps popping out when we do it."

Uh.......Even if this was a legitimate email (which it is not). Why are you asking me?!
Granted, I am generally very educated and unabashed about sex but from a stranger? Like is there a database of names of people to go to if you have an embarassing sex question? I'm probably not the best person to ask for advice from anyway................I would have told her to find a boyfriend with a bigger dick.

Please store your hoover in the overhead compartment

I flew back to Oregon last night. Normally I don't mind at all because it's only a 57 minute flight or something. Last night however I was not so impressed. I was seated comfortably in seat 6A. I got the whole (2 seats) row to myself. I took a little nap on take-off, I drank some juice, had some bbq potatoe chips and when I was abou to open up my book and begin to read I caught a little movement out of the corner of my eye...

The couple sitting in seats 2C and 2D were going at it like rabbits. I don't mean a little smooch whilst at 30,000 feet. I mean tongues entangled, faces mashed, "arethosetwoheadsorjustaoneheadedperson?" kind of action. I nearly puked. Please don't misunderstand me. I don't hate couples. I don't hate kissing in public. I don't even hate an occasional tap on the ass (not a grab, a tap). What I do dislike is being stuck in a tin can while a couple is trading slobber and probably infecting the air with mono. Just, EW DUDE.