Disclaimer: I realize you will all think I'm a tool after reading this, I don't care, I am PROUD of myself.
This little darling is what occupied my Wednesday night last night.
It's a faucet handle folks, and it's a lot more wiley than it looks. These little puppies have a tendency to wear out quite easily. There' s a screw that goes on the inside and with a lot of use the plastic casing that goes over the screw, shears off. That's right, the mother just SNAPS. Cheap ass plastic. Who invented plastic anyway?
I digress...
This may not sound like a big job and for an actual PLUMBER it probably isn't, but I am not a plumber, I'm an actor and a bank trainer; the HELL do I know about faucet handles?! Anyway, I had to find where the water gets turned off and then crawl in this little crawlspace to turn it off. Then I had to pop the little silver cap off to access the screw. Once I got the mother unscrewed all of these little bits o'plastic started raining down into the bathtub. (Remember I said it just SNAPPED?) It snapped into like a million pieces, no wonder it was just spinning and spinning and spinning when I was attempting to get hot water.
This story is getting way too long so I'll get to the point.
I took my million pieces to the hardware store about 15 minutes away, looked around in vain for someone to help me, but apparently Lowe's doesn't employ anyone, or they were all on a break except one really helpful guy (thank you helpful tattooed man) that pointed me towards plumbing. No one was in sight in the plumbing department (surprise surprise) so I looked around and camped out for about 20 minutes till I found the right faucet handle. Go Me. Here's where the story gets a little bit tragic, but it ends triumphant don't worry....
This MOTHER EFFING PIECE OF PLASTIC COSTS 20 bucks!?!?
Whatever, I needed a new damn faucet, pretty soon I was going to be bathing in the sink.
When I got home, I pulled into my driveway and got a sick feeling in my stomach......I reached into my purse and BAM! You got it folks, I left the GD thing at the GD hardware store! (see above, the hardware store is 15 minutes away, in LIGHT traffic) So I pulled right back out of my driveway, watched my roommate look at me like I'm a psycho out the front window and trekked back to good old Lowe's. The rest of the story is mostly anti-climactic. Basically I put on the new damn handle, crawled around and turned the water back on, and then basked in my own glory.
It may have been only one screw and 2 trips to Lowe's but damn if I don't feel good. Check out THIS Old House, Bob!
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Sexiest Bob Villa Ever
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7 comments:
It's such a great feeling to learn something new and feel empowered. I am WOMAN hear me snore and all that jazz.
"It may have been only one screw and 2 trips to Lowe's but damn if I don't feel good."
Personally I would prefer two screws and one trip to Lowe's. But I'm just crazy that way.
BEL: I should have guessed you'd be the fucker that would turn that into something sexual.........thanks though:)
I'm pretty sure it was that guy from The Graduate who invented plastics.
Great job!
For future reference: you don't have to turn off the water just to change a handle.
Also, if you are using scrubbing bubbles you might want to stop. It destroys plastic handles. They will disintgrate at an early age. (There is fine print written on most handle packages that warn of such things)
Yeah you! Doesn't it feel great to do something yourself!
Ain't indepedence great? If you decide to caulk the tub, a little tip is to fill it with water before-hand.
Thanks to Pusher for the Scrubbing Bubbles tip.
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