Did somebody say Dipstick?

7:30 A.M. My roommate is looking at her 1984 Mercedes car manual:


Roommate: I gotta find a goddamned mechanic today.

Me: How come, what happened?

Roommate: That mother's leakin antifreeze, and I mean like dumping it.

Me: What do you have the manual for then?

Roommate: I gotta put oil in my car and these german cars are all fucked up.

Me: Oh, I can help you find that.

Roommate: I know where to check it but the damn dipstick doesnt say how far to fill it.

Me: Wait, it doesn't even have any markings or anything?

Roommate: Well, yeah it does but..

Me: Well then that's the fill line, even if it's not in words, it's marked.

Roommate: Well no. It doesn't have that.

Me: I just asked you if it had markings and you said yes, and now you're saying no?

Roommate: Well, ok. So you know at the end it goes to a point kind of like a penis?

Me: *Laughing my ass off*

Roommate: IT DOES LOOK LIKE A PENIS!

Me: Ok, yeah. Sorry. I just..it struck me funny ok?

Roommate: Ok. So the end looks like a penis and then about a fourth the way up the dipstick it kind of goes in like this: (motions with her fingers and makes a weird noise indicating the fact that it goes it at that spot)

Me: Ok, yeah well that's the fill line, that means don't go below this line or your engine will seize.

Roommate: and then a little higher there's another place where it goes in like that. (motions again, same noise)

Me: Ok, that's the "don't go above this or it'll blow up or overflow or something" line. Even if there are no words, I'm telling you.

Roommate: *After 5 or so minutes of silence and looking at the manual* Oh here! Look! SEE! It does look like a penis and ........oh. Ok yeah you were right, that's the "at least" line and that's the "too much" line.

Me: Told ya you should have listened to me.

*Long Pause*

Me: How am I going to blog that noise you made?