PSA's are for pansies

The only kind of clumsy ass you want to be is a personable one.

Take my word for it.

The best part of being a personable clumsy ass that everyone loves is that no matter how messed up your stories are, people always see them as charming instead of tragic. You know those people that you see on jerry springer? The ones that have husbands that are sleeping with their moms? The ones that had some tragic accident where they lost the ability to walk right after they learned they had colon cancer? Those people are tragic. Breaking your toe in a bikini waxing incident? That’s funny. Thank god I’m a personable clumsy ass because otherwise I’d be headed straight for montel.

Public Service Announcement:

During a bikini wax your legs may fall asleep. Don’t underestimate a complete loss of feeling in your leg, a broken toe may result.



What have I been doing besides my waxing injury activities? Good question, really. I know that I’ve been MIA lately and that you’ve missed me and all but I promise I’ve been around. I’ve been reading blogs here and there, I just haven’t felt like I had the time or anything to say so today is when it’s all coming out I guess.

I’ve almost lost my voice again. Remember this post? Yeah, my body likes to revolt by making me sound like Dinah the Christmas whore whenever I get sick. Where’s the humanity I ask you? I don’t even feel bad. That’s the really crappy part. I feel fine for the most part (except the broken toe) I just sound like death warmed over.


Christmas time is awesome. I love this time of the year. Even though I generally detest snow, I put up with it because I like all of the holiday music, decorations, yummy food and eggnog lattes. I am gearing up for spending almost 2 weeks away from work, a good portion of those days with my family and friends back home. I am pumped. More recently I’m getting pumped up for the winery’s holiday party. Believe it or not I actually got THIS GUY to commit to being my date. This is not the first unusual thing he has done lately. 2 weeks ago he drove 2.5 hours to see me while I was on travel for work. Hmmmm very interesting I say.

I know you all have things you should be doing but won’t do even when you leave my blog because the internet is a black hole that sucks you in but I will leave you with this little tidbit:

I am 33 dollars richer today, thanks to a rousing evening of Bunko.


THANK YOU BUNKO!