Oh God!

I just found this site where you can chat with god! What a total crack-up! Thanks to Jade who was linked through Dirty Bunny.

For your enjoyment I present my conversation with God:

2:00 PST

Me: Hey God
God:Hello child. What's your name?
Me: Emily
God: Hi there Emily.
Me: Hi God, hey I got a question for you.
God:Hi there Emily. I am a Christian.
Me: congratulations, but I still have a question for you
God:Thank you, thank you very much. I would like to thank everyone who helped...
Me: ok....Here's my question. How come I have such comittment Issues?
God:Really. Oh there. Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
Me: I asked you to?! Why would I do that?
God:Now I remember, you asked me to. What did I say? You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances.
Me: yeah ok, well you didn't really answer my question. How come I have comittment issues?
God:Far out. Interesting. What makes you think I did not really answer your question? I see. How much time do you have?
Me: I have lots of time, my class is on the computers. What can I do to fix these issues?
God:Where did you get your of time your class is on the computers? I have a birthday on the Big Bang. Try talking to me.
Me: I AM trying to talk to you. Jeez. Talk about self absorbed. What does the big bang have to do with anything?
God:What is the difficulty? Is that an insurmountable obstacle? Sure, self absorbed sounds like a good topic. What do you think it does?
Me: the diffifulty is that while I have comittment issues I'm sleeping with everything in sight.
God:Is that a fact.
Me: yes, it is, and well, I'm sure it's unhealthy
God:Thanks for the info. the big bang have to do with anything is and well you are sure it is unhealthy? it is?
Me: well you tell me, you're the moral compass.
God:Well that's okay. There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge. I have never been asked that before.
Me: the WEB?! You're GOD for God's sake!
God:I hear you. Thanks for telling me that I am GOD for God s sake.
Me: uh, you're welcome. it wasn't really a compliment though, I'm kind of pissed that you can't help me.
God:Pardon me? The pleasure was all mine. It sounded like one.
Me: the pleasure was all yours to piss me off?
God:Thank you for your politeness.
Me: you need to work on your bedside manner god. And another thing......I think the bible is kind of crap.
God:And then what would I do? One more thing. Since when? Do you believe there is only one interpretation?
Me: no, I think it's a bunch of good stories, and people have gone apeshit with it.
God:Are you serious? I am the moral compass is a bunch of good stories and people have gone apeshit with it. I suppose that makes sense.
Me: so, did you mean for that to happen or what?
God:Yeah. So? Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me: oh. no it isn't clear. you know there are lots of people killing other people because of that book right?
God:That's alright. Are you serious? That seems a bit negative. No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me: well, it's messed up god, and you should really come fix it or something. I mean if you're all powerful like we keep hearing.
God:Or something. Well that's okay. Are you sure it is? Am I? No, I am only partly powerful like we keep hearing.
Me: whoa, really? oh, i guess i was totally hosed on that one
God:I stopped. For real. Yeah that's right. Where were you totally hosed on that one?Me: hosed about you god. I feel like I'm so much more enlightened now. Thanks, I'm outta here.

I think I might make it my daily routine to have a conversation with God. it just makes me feel so much better.