Point gun at foot. Pull Trigger.

I pretty much shot myself in the foot. Romantically speaking. In This Post I talk about This Guy and how he's actually been doing some nice things for me that are very unusual for him. Well we spent a bunch of time together around xmas and right before New Year's. We had discussed earlier last year how we were both ok with whatever our situation was (friends with "benefits") and that it would be just that. Sound good right?
Well, no.
Because I went ahead and got way too attached to him. Again.

I know that I should not even attempt to make it go anywhere, I shouldn't even have let it go where it did, but I've never been one with good self control and let's face it, I want what I want. Things slowly started turning from 'friends that have sex occasionally' to going out to meals, getting drinks and him going as the date for my Winery Christmas Party. (Which might I add he drove 4.5 hours to be at and then drove back home the same amount of time the next morning) He came over for a drunken midnight dance party and then the next night we went to see a concert together and then fell asleep with hardly a kiss or two. He bought me a LOVELY silk scarf (with shakespeare's sonnets on it!) for Christmas and made sure I called him when I opened it and had the roommie take pictures of my reaction when he couldn't be there to watch. I think I know deep down inside that his actions changing have more to do with him growing up and just being more considerate towards his friends than him wanting to date me. He doesn't want to be someone's boyfriend and probably not mine but I can't stop the feelings of something under the surface when he looks at me or when we lay in bed discussing things until 2 am. I feel *something* there but knowing my luck with men, it's probably just indigestion...