A Relationship By Any Other Medium...........Or Where the hell else am I supposed to meet men?!

I'm pretty irritated at the moment. Yes, aren't you lucky, you get to read why.

I've met a man. I met him online. He is wonderful. We've been 'seeing each other' for about a month now. He has a good portion of the requirements I wanted in a man that my therapist made me decide upon while in therapy. The rest will come in time I'm sure. He is:

*Amazingly Kind
*Creative
*Spiritual
*Mature
*Responsible
*Appreciative of Spontaneity
*Funny
*Appreciative of my funny
*Into the Theatre (anyone that reads this blog knows this is important to me)
*Into Movies (again, seriously)

I'm going to stop my list there, I could go on and on and on I'm sure.

Here's the thing that throws most people over the edge about this:

We haven't "met" in person yet.

Before you freak out and leave me a crazed comment, please let me enlighten you on the situation that called for this course of action. NO, he is NOT in prison. (although a good friend told me recently that one of her best friends, a very logical, educated social worker met and then eventually married a man that she met while writing letters to in prison)

Through a series of unfortunate events (most of them beyond his control and not his fault) he has been stuck on the east coast for over a month. The first two weeks were work (he had left the day after we first emailed), then work made him stay on because his replacement quit. He got as far as Denver and got a frantic email that his estranged mother was looking for him at his old apartment so he had to go take care of that mess and then when he was finally ready to come home there was an emergency room stay followed by bumped flights home because of a blizzard. Now I know enough about life to know that it screws you in the ass the first chance it gets. This may only happen once, but it's probably going to be the worst ass screwing you ever get. This is his ass screwing and it just so happened to fall right after we chatted the first time. In the meantime, we have spent over a month on the phone, on IM, emailing and text messaging. I know this man better than I knew my last boyfriend, and I had SEX with him for 3 months. I have not had sex with this man, nor have I even really thought about it until recently and only because I have become attracted to him in so many other ways. Although this situation sucks for both of us (particularly him and his being trapped in the NE) we both agreed it was the right thing to happen, it forced us to court each other, get to know each other on a level that was not clouded by sex or social pressures, etc. The craziness has finally ended and he is coming home within the next few days, I'm picking him up at the airport and we couldn't be more excited to see each other. He is mad for me and tells me daily. I feel the same way.

Where's the RANT part you say? This is "Rant-a-rific". Touche.

I have at least 2 friends that have plainly told me they are "suspicious" of him and flat out that they think he is a "pathological liar and is playing me". Don't get me wrong, I appreciate their concern but please know I am no fool. I have already double checked, address, phone number and driven by the house. I did those within the first 2 days of him telling them to me. I know how to protect myself and I have met a lot of men online and found the patterns that a liar uses. I'm no spring chicken at this. More importantly I have the not so tangible method of trusting my gut. I have a pretty damn good radar for people, and the sad truth is that every guy that ever hurt me (unless we were young and he had no idea what he was doing) I got a vibe from. I knew they weren't right but I dated them (or slept with them) anyway. Well, I KNOW that this one is good, I can feel it. The part that kills me about this whole situation is that those 2 friends (as well as a whole host of other people I reckon) would not even bat an eyelash had I met this man through letter writing to a soldier. (If you can think of a better example please tell me, this is the best I got). People fall in love with soldiers overseas all the time. They begin as pen pals, and then fall in love through these letters and end up together when the soldier returns home. I realize that not all of these last forever and I am not basing my situation on theirs, I am simply saying that in that situation, it would not be considered odd if that soldier was to return home and through no fault of his own had to stay on deployment, or was stuck at a base for a few days or a week or was sent to another location for a few days. These things would be considered normal, and waiting for that in person meeting would be something to be excited about, not looked down on.

I am EFFING tired of meeting people online being thought of and looked on as such a "risky" thing to do. May I remind everyone that Ted Bundy met women in bars and on the street and he KILLED THEM. My ex boyfriend I met at work, and he broke my heart.

DATING IS RISKY. Period. Doesn't matter where you meet people, you have to be careful with yourself, your heart.

I am mad for this man, nay, I LOVE HIM. I don't care what anyone says, he loves me too and I will meet him at that airport and it will be one of the happiest days of my life.

And why are you asking me?!

I got an email in my spam mailbox the other day that has this as the title:

"I just started having sex, and my boyfriend keeps popping out when we do it."

Uh.......Even if this was a legitimate email (which it is not). Why are you asking me?!
Granted, I am generally very educated and unabashed about sex but from a stranger? Like is there a database of names of people to go to if you have an embarassing sex question? I'm probably not the best person to ask for advice from anyway................I would have told her to find a boyfriend with a bigger dick.

If this shit doesn't make you laugh, then your laugh button is busted

What Happens When You Ask A Little Girl About Monsters - For more funny videos, click here

You Compl.....Infuriate me!

I'm having a conversation with him right now on Instant Messenger. I finally just told him why i'm upset. I feel like his fallback girl and he basically ignored me for 6 months. He made excuses, tried to say "you didn't call either" and "that happens with all new relationships, people's friendships suffer." And when I brought up the fact that he didn't come see my play that he promised he'd come see 3 times he just told me how his car wasn't working and how he thought he could get it fixed but turns out he couldn't. NO I'm sorry. NO explanation as to why he didn't call and say "i know this is important to you but I can't make it". He just basically continued talking to me as if nothing happened and is now talking on and on about HIMSELF and HIS new apartment. I really wish I had the balls to tell him to go stick it up his ass. But the truth is that I'm just still terrified of him never wanting me again. I have such issues...

STOP SUING EVERYONE FOR CHRIST'S SAKES!

This suit is RIDICULOUS. I want to slap this man across the face. I'd like to kick him in his pantsless balls. This man judges other people's cases. FIRE HIM. He no longer deserves to be a judge.

Thank you and good night.

Uh...Thank you? I think?

I just got a really weird message on OkCupid.


"I would like to invite you to my bedroom. I am an expert at the art of oral stimulation. I have worked many years at perfecting my skills. I am not just bragging here. I can spend hours pleasing my partner before I ever think of myself. So if you'd like to have the orgasmic experience of your life, drop me a line or two and lets set it up. You will not regret it, so far I haven't had any complaints.

Alfredo "


I have to admit that it's at least a little flattering. I mean something about my profile made him think that he wanted to pull down my pants. I messaged him back and thanked him but told him I'd have to decline. He was very polite and said "No Problem, have a great day!".

Still it's nothing compared to this OkCupid message I got about a year ago:


Subject: You and I need to have a little: 'talk'.....


Young lady.

I hope you agree.

Your Masked Intruder

It wasn't even so much the message, as his profile when I went to look. CREEPY. Check it out, I dare ya.