Monday, April 07, 2008

OMG!! WTF!1! A NEW POST!

yes yes i know. I have been so neglectful. I would like to say that it's because I'm doing something really amazing like curing cancer, but no such luck. I've been distracted by a man. It makes me shudder just typing that because I have lived my life so adamantly against letting a man run, ruin, or disrupt my life in any way. Particularly in a chaotic way. But life is just not yours for the choosing most of the time and I got hit hard by that little a-hole cherub with a bow and arrow.

(why hasn't someone taken the archery equipment away from that little bastard yet anyway?!)

Some of you loyal readers (and I do appreciate your loyalty, please believe me) may remember this post about this man. Well that one or two months has now turned into about 5. Yes. It has taken him 5 months to get home from across the country but you know what? After this weekend I know why and although it has been extremely difficult, I forgive him.

My life has been Disneyland compared to how he grew up. That is not really an excuse however and some choices he made over the last 2 years before he met me have contributed to a hell of a lot of chaos in his life. He admits that he hasn't made the best of decisions over the last 2 years and his karma is now suffering horrendously for it.

This is my second trip out here to see him and I know some might (and probably are) ask themselves "why would you go through all that when he can't even show you how much he cares by getting his ass home?" Simple.

This man loves me like no man has ever loved me. The connection we have is miraculous. So comfortable, so easy. My hand never wants for his, my lower back has been warmed for 4 days straight by his hand on it. I've never been kissed on the forehead so much in my life. He makes me laugh: like crack up, snorting, snot out your nose, pee your pants kind of laughing. He tells me constantly how amazing I am. How kind he thinks I am, how he doesn't deserve me. Whether he does or not I don't think matters, whether we both feel equal and partnered well matters a great deal more I think.

The first time I came here to see him, I was only here for about 1.5 days and we spent a great afternoon together before he had to go to where he was working to be able to afford having to stay for a few weeks. The minute he entered my hotel room it was not at all as if we hadn't met in person yet, It was as if we hadn't seen each other in months, as if we'd known each other for years and had been together plenty of times.

I can only describe this weekend not just the same as that, but so much better. We spent every day I was here together. Took the train to a historic town north of the city and spent a few hours rolling around, giving each other raspberries and making love. (sorry family members that read this)

He brought me to the airport today and it was like all those ridiculous movies you see on lifetime. I got all teary eyed and he told me it would be ok. I never imagined I'd feel this way about a person or they about me. He keeps telling me 'I never imagined I could ever love someone so much'. I feel exactly the same.

They say people "just know when it's the one". I know I am in no place to get married and we both discussed the fact that we are in NO hurry to be married, but we both admitted that we think about a future together. I don't think I ever really honestly saw myself with any of my boyfriends long term. Not really 'marriage potential' until now. Who knows what the future holds? I don't, you don't. But I am excited for what it will hold for us together going forward.


Here is a picture from my trip. Happy and Cute no?

3 comments:

ptg said...

I'm glad to hear things are going well....was wondering if there was anything further on the radar with him!

And I'm also happy to hear that he did, in fact, sweep you off of your feet. You deserve it.

Anonymous said...

poop tastes god when you are horny.

ptg said...

Are you alive!?