Re-Magnetized: Part Deux

Ok, here is the follow up to that post from last night.

*No, I was not exhausted FROM the guy I got picked up by. I re-read my post and realized I sounded like a huge ho.

*No, I wasn't trying to be cutesy and explain a tow truck adventure or anything, I really did get picked up by a guy on the freeway.

*Yes, while driving.

*No, he wasn't creepy or weird or like an axe murderer. Actually, very sweet and CUTE!

*Yes, I will give you the whole story below. (I just wanted to give the quick run down for those that think I ramble. Oh and by the way for those of you that think I ramble.....EFF OFF:)



I found out on Monday that I would be coming to California to teach a 2 day class, Thursday and Friday. Needless to say I was scrambling about trying to get everything taken care of. Canceling friday night plans, rescheduling appointment with specialist about my watery head on Thursday and booking travel arrangements for my trip. Where I am at in California is only about an hours drive away from my aunt and uncle (the ones that live in wine country) so I figured it would be a nice thing if I could go visit them, even if only for an evening.

After much deliberation I decided to take the smaller, more windy but more direct highway to get me there (and thank god I did). I was nearing the last quarter or so of my trip on said highway when (we shall call him "Freeway Dave") pulled up beside me. As is my usual routine I look to see who's next to me and he happens to be cute and smiling at me so I smile back. "Cute guy" I think. He keeps pulling up next to me, and waving and smiling and winking at me and I'm starting to blush of all the attention (but don't get me wrong, I'm LOVING IT). He motions to his left hand asking if I'm married, I show him my hand, I'm not. He smiles, a BIG smile. I search frantically for a pen to write my number on a piece of paper. Nothing, I had cleaned out my purse for travel. DAMNIT. I hold up my phone and shake it, he does the same. He wants my number, so I do the only thing I know to do.....I start telling him on my fingers. I start getting a little worried around the "9" because I need to take both hands off the wheel, but he seems to get all of them pretty good and I am waiting for that phone to ring. It doesn't. He pulls up next to me and motions for me to get over and I think to myself: "Either he's going to axe murder me, or something awesome is going to happen".

I'm still here, so you know he didn't axe murder me.

I pull over, and he comes to my window and says "Hi, I'm Dave, what's your name?"
"HST"
"Well HST, you are just SO cute! I want to make sure I have this number right?"
"Oh yeah just missing the last digit, it's zero. But way to get the rest of it, I'm impressed."
"I aim, to please. So where you headed?"
"To the Bay to meet my aunt and uncle for dinner, you?"
"To work, I work nights. Where are you from? With that area code, that's what? Modesto?"
"*laugh* nope, it's Eastern Washington.........the STATE."
"Oh, that's too bad, but perhaps you'll be down this way again soon?"
"Oh sure, I visit when I can and work here occasionally....so you should definitely call."
"I will make sure to do that, HST. Oh man, you are just SO CUTE! Have a great night"

And with that he got in his car and we both took off. He texted me a couple times asking when I was headed back to WA and if I had time to go out tonight before my flight. Unfortunately I have to drive an hour plus to get to the airport I flew into so it was a no go, but we talked for about an hour last night and he wished me a goodnight and agreed to call and wake me in the morning (the hotel radio alarm was kind of shifty to be honest). My phone rang this morning and he told me to have a great day and he'd hopefully talk to me later.

I have NO idea what will happen. More than likely: nothing. But what fun! What an adventure! Not to mention an INCREDIBLE ego boost exactly when I needed it...

I probably think this song is about me

Ok, I'm not going to fight it anymore. Have you ever taken a picture (or someone else took a picture) and for whatever reason (regardless of how you felt about yourself that day) it just turned out so FUCKING good that you had to keep looking at it, even though you felt horribly vain all day long?

Well if not, uh...I'm sad that you've never EVER taken a great picture. It happens like once in a lifetime, get to it! Start snapping!

Here's mine, I can't stop staring at it:

God I love myself too much......

12:42 AM

* I really should be in bed.

* I'm up this late because I just finished the most amazing conversation about theatre and spirituality with the actor that is staying with us while he's doing a show on this side of the state.

* I'm fairly sure he was high as he had just gotten back from "a walk" and his eyes were glazed.

* I don't care, cause the conversation rocked.

* Don't wear GIGANTIC polka dots and then tiny polka dots in one outfit, that's bad.

* It's worse if you are no bigger than a toothpick, tanned to the hide of an aligator and look like a man.

* I'm a real bitch in the mornings while walking to work.

* I saw a guy in the cold and flu aisle at Rite-Aid that I have seen exactly one time before in my building, I should have said hi, he's cute.

* But I was carrying 3 bags of candy for my class and didn't want him thinking I was a huge pig.

* Ok, so one bag was for my candy drawer, fuck off.

* I would normally go downstairs to bed and "wear myself out" but it could give me a stroke. (see 2 posts down)

* Do yourself a favor, go to YouTube and search for "coach hines", watch as many as humanly possible.

* No need to thank me.

*But here's a little awesome something to get you through the day:

Isn't it perfect?! I had to take a picture it was so perfect!

(it's the new bra I tell ya, the new bra)

Don't drink in a hot tub, no seriously don't

I made the cardinal error the other night. I drank in hot tub. I know you're not supposed to but who's thinking of that when they are half liquored up and getting into a hot tub?

I had a very busy weekend acting as the Maid of Honor for my best friend since the 8th grade. Things started on Friday morning with a dress fitting, followed by a bridal shower. Saturday brought the rehearsal, a final dress fitting and the rehearsal dinner. And the wedding was on Sunday so I had hair in the morning, then pictures and then the actual ceremony and reception.

I was already exhausted (and sober). Then I added alcohol and eventually a hot tub and whoa momma! (no but seriously my momma did have to take care of me because I was so hungover I was about to puking all day and felt dizzy when I stood up.)

The wedding was beautiful. I had a gorgeous dress and my hair ended up looking amazing. The bride was stunning and it couldn't have been a more delightful ceremony. Short and sweet. (literally it was very sweet because they had lovely things to say about each other) I got to see a lot of people I haven't seen in years and do a little flirting with a guy I went to high school with that was one of the groomsmen. By the way, just for the record, he got HOT. I have no idea when that happened but HOLY CRAP! That was fun. There was some minor hot tub gropage (until I had to excuse myself to go pray to the porcelain goddess.....super hot, I know)

All in all a great weeknd. Full, exhausting, but wonderful.

How was everyone else's?

And he smelled good too.

I'm not going to say too much about this because I'm trying to not get too excited and jinx myself but:

I had an AMAZING date with a MAN on friday! WOO!!

A Discovery Dear Watson!

I think I've finally realized what everyone has been trying to tell me for a while now. All of this angst I feel? All of this miscommunication? All of this "being strung along" that I'm feeling a good majority of the time?

That's called "DATING".

Please forgive me for being so slow. I CAN be taught it just takes a while.

I'm pretty sure that the reason I didn't realize this for so long was because I was so caught up in my past self and feeling like something about myself made me a victim to romantic pain more often. I'm pretty sure at this point I was pretty 'effing wrong. Those of you that are regular readers know that I am a fat woman. I am in no way an ugly woman, but yes I am a fat one. I really don't care anymore (most of my internal organs and joints probably do, but I don't). I have energy to spare, I have passion and creativity and beauty in all aspects of my life and I am HAPPY!

This is what I kept telling myself which was true down to about 75% of myself. The other 25% was still absorbed in my former self. I still felt I was too fat to get a man. Which is a ridiculous and detrimental thought. But when it sweeps over you even subconsciously it becomes all encompassing. I realize that this morphed itself into "I'm not classy enough to get a man" or "I'm not mature enough to get a man". For years I have felt like I was a "kid" sitting at the grown-ups table whenever a man was around. Hence, I have dated BOYS. Not MEN.

I WANT A MAN.

And I am NOT going to settle until I find one:) That probably means I am going to be single for a while. I'm pretty ok with that in the long run. The short term does get difficult when one wants to be taken out on a weekend or told she is wonderful or that someone loves her but I don't want that from some boy (regardless of his age) that I know is playing around because he doesn't know how to have a mature relationship. I put up with so much crap (and in turn get hurt over and over again by my own hand) because I am settling for boys.

HIM: Wants to have someone always available to call, email, IM, text message and sleep with if he chooses but is completely unwilling to be comitted to that person and also refuses to accept the consequences when he drops them and wants to pick them up again.

Security Boy: Couldn't tell the truth if you squeezed it out of him with a vice. Couldn't even tell me why he was breaking up with me.

However I feel it's worth saying here that I really should focus more on the MEN that I have met and have treated me well and for whatever reason couldn't continue our good times together.

Theology Guy: Absolutely a MAN. Not a boy. Asked me out for a drink, had a great time, felt me up and then made sure my trip to Napa was absolutely wonderful!

The Sax Player: A MAN. Was very honest about seeing someone when he moved away to grad school and we have remained friends throughout.

Current FWB: Informed me the other day that he had hooked up with some other friend of his at a party and then followed it with, "if you don't want me to tell you these things I won't I just thought I should be honest with you." YAH! Honesty, now there's a grown up concept...


So in any case I'm going to try to enjoy dating a little more from now on. It's an adventure, not a torturous exercise in futility. EVERY woman goes through something horrible in her dating life unless she gets married at 18 and lets face it....I was nowhere NEAR marriage at 18. I'm nowhere near marriage at 26!

Tell me this Ladies and Gentleman....Am I right? Am I full of crap? Is this normal dating bullshit? Have I come to the right conclusion? Show me what you got.

Blast from the Past

I have had a breakthrough moment. I am completely, 100% over him.

You may be asking yourself "but wait, that post was back in January, we haven't heard anything about him in a very long time."

You'd be right. He got himself a girlfriend. After which he pretty much just stopped talking to me. Oh yes he did try to Instant Message me 2 times but I didn't respond either time (once because I was sleeping and had left my laptop on and once because I was seething with anger and I decided not to respond) I have been around and around over this in my mind and at one point thought to myself "well I shouldn't really be upset because it's not like we were dating, I mean we were just 'having some fun', right?"
Then I realized you don't just IGNORE your friends because you have a girlfriend. Sure he tried to IM me, and sure I didn't respond but he does happen to have my phone number. I also know he text messages because he used to text me about 10 times a day at one point! It's not like I was unreachable. I was just unreachable when it was convenient for HIM. When he wasn't spending time with his girlfriend.

Well I'm sorry, I am not here for your schedule.

Recently I was surfing about and saw that he had updated his blog and in it he talks about breaking up with his girlfriend. He also had a post about moving into a new place although he had to move out of his old place about 2 weeks before the new one was available. Once I read this I immediately knew I'd be hearing from him soon. I could just feel it. "Once he has that apartment, he's going to call me".

I SHOULD PUT MONEY ON THIS SHIT.

He moved into his apartment on Sunday and guess who IM's me today? I'll give you one damn guess.

And as always his conversation was mostly focused on himself.....

HIM: evenin'
ME: hi.
HIM: hey, a response! how've you been? (he's so amazed at a resonse, might I remind you that he has my phone number, not like i was unreachable)
ME: good, busy. you?
HIM: insanely busy. was more or less homeless for 2 weeks
ME: oh that's never good
HIM: well, it was worth it. I was waiting for the perfect apt. to come available
ME: very cool. the holy grail the perfect apt.
HIM: so it was worth it to couch surf for a while. prolly only "perfect" by my standards... most people wouldn't agree. but it's cheap, not scungy, and in the U. district. it's just miniscule
ME: not always bad
HIM: for me, right now, I think it's a really good thing. help me simplify.I have too much crap.
ME: most of us do.
HIM: better to live cheap, pare down, and save up. this place is $500 a month, all utils paid save cable
ME: awesome
HIM: and I'm one block off the ave, 3 blocks from work
ME: score
HIM: how're things going over there? how'd the play go? (The play might I add that I asked him to come see and he told me 2 times "of course I will be there." He wasn't.)
ME: i'm sorry i can't really chat now, i'm on a conference call I was just checking in to see if my boss was online.... (I realize I get a little bitchy here, it's not like I can't type and listen at the same time, i mean I'm doing it now but I just am so tired of this crap from him!)
HIM: oh, ok. talk at'cha later

I cannot tell you how much better I feel. Although I know at some point this is going to come to a head when he wants to see me and to be frank,I don't really think I want to see him. I'll deal with that when it happens but it feels so good to know that I am no longer emotionally pining and attached.

I refuse to be the fallback girl.

My First Time

As you become an "adult" you tend to grow out of having any sort of "firsts" that mean anything to you. Well I guess I should say you start growing out of "firsts" all together. I've been having a decent amount of "firsts" lately but they are not your typical kinds of firsts. They are only "firsts" in my own estimation and if you don't agree that they are worthy of noting, then you can fuck off. See? I'm nice. I like to provide options.

*2 nights ago I attended my first real organized wine tasting outside of my own workplace. One of the prominent restaurants in this town hosted a wine tasting of a local winery. A few of my coworkers from my winery were there and they brought some friends along. It was a BLAST. Oh and the wine was DELISH! I also attended another wine tasting last night at a little bistro here in town. The wine was not AS delish but I did end up buying a bottle of the Cabernet Franc. And flirted a little bit with the restaurant owner.

*I tried a flavor other than "_______mint" gum. I usually don't go for the crazy gum flavors I gotta be honest. It's usually "spearmint" or "bubblegum" and that's where I draw the line. Well the other day I branched out and tried "mint mojito" by Orbit. Uh HELLO?! DELICIOUS! So the most amazingly perfect combination of flavors in one gum! I am now addicted and I bought the 3-pack which probably says something about my problem.

*I bought a man a drink last night. I was out after the wine tasting having dinner with some gal pals and there was a very attractive gentleman at the bar with 2 friends and I could have sworn he kept looking over at our table. In the past I would have assumed I was crazy and there was absolutely no way he was looking at our table. He was probably looking past us to the door or something. Well I have been in therapy for a while now and these thoughts have changed, quite a bit. After my friend said "oh yeah I just saw him look over here twice" I figured I was not crazy and he was looking over here for some reason. Regardless of whether he was looking at me or the other three girls I decided it warranted some action. So I told our waiter to send him another of whatever he was drinking and put it on my tab. Yes! I have become bold! When the waiter pointed out who bought it he and his friends (in a completely NON SUBTLE way I might add) turned around to see who had purchased him a drink. I waved politely and smiled and figured I was done at that. NOPE. He came over to say hello and thank you. Turns out his name is Sean and he's a pharmacist. He was very nice and even more handsome when he smiled. He found it insanely intriguing that I work for a winery and I really should have used that to more of my advantage.

*I've decided that me working for a winery could get me more ass than I even imagined. I didn't realize the impact until last night. Here's to the future...

Thank you, Drive through

This morning on my way to do some make up for an independant film (woohoo!) I stopped by McDonald's for one of their new coffees and a sausage mcmuffin. The guy that gave me my food in the drive through smiled a big, long smile at me and he also looked a hell of a lot like Don Cheadle. I think Don Cheadle is VERY handsome. Happy A.M. to me!